Labels here are sort of like Ikea furniture instructions.
Here's one of my favorites:
Don't drink this one-handed with your other hand on your hip?
Or don't drink this one-handed with your other hand on your hip when you have your hair in a ponytail?
Oh, wait, don't drink one-handed with your other hand on your hip, with your hair in a ponytail if you're pregnant.
Speaking of instructions for pregnant women, here are the warnings on the box of ibuprofen:
If you're less than six months pregnant, use caution and only take it on your doctor's advice. If you're more than six months pregnant, don't take it at all -- regardless of your hairdo and what you're doing with your hands.
On the other hand, if you're not pregnant, you can take it if you're over 12 years old and wear shorts or pants, but not if you're a blue turtle: